This was the original of a bonus journal entry I did for school, but then changed it because I decided I needed to get to know Mr. Black better before I let him read something as personal as this:
I wonder if things will change one day. I wonder if I’ll be able to wake up without feeling tired. I wonder if I’ll be able to go to bed without being so cold.
I hope that the next time I look at myself in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes will be gone. I hope that my skin goes back to its usual golden beige warmth.
I want to stop saying “I’m fine” when sometimes it’s not true. I wish someone would notice when things are turning grey.
I wish that sometimes I didn’t give much thought to things. I wish I just did what I felt without fear.
I want to paint with watercolors and pastels on a huge canvas. There would be figures with no shape, but it wouldn’t matter because they’d come from my heart.
I wish I could open my eyes and see everything is wrong. I’d love it if mom wasn’t hurting so much.
